4 Ways caregivers can help older adults manage worry

Your emotions are like a road map. Like the GPS in your car or a paper road atlas, emotions guide you from one place to another.

Emotions are your system’s way of responding to messages coming in from the world around you. They signal you to quicken or slow your breathing, for example, or to contract or relax your muscles. They balance how you react with what’s going on inside your body and then sound the alarm when there’s something to fear.

Anxiety is an emotion everybody has experienced at some point. It often comes to the surface as worry, which serves a useful purpose. It protects you from threats.

Anxiety can also spiral out of control. Constant worrying affects both physical and mental well-being and can have a cumulative effect. You may experience fear, distress, or brooding – all cousins of anxiety and worry.

Caregivers are in a unique position to witness firsthand the circumstances that prompt worry in the older adults they assist. A certain amount of worry is unavoidable, but sometimes it’s disruptive. Fortunately, there are some useful ways to help others manage it.

To clarify, the material presented here is about feeling anxious or being worried, which is usually a temporary response to a concern or threat. It is not about anxiety disorder, which is a mental illness that can last for a long time, be difficult to manage, and generally require treatment by a health professional. 

What do seniors worry about?

Your senior loved ones have their own list of worries – some vague and others specific to their individual circumstances. They may hesitate to admit some of the things they worry about. But they probably share some worries commonly identified by many older adults.

Declining health. Facing the gradual or sudden loss of health is disturbing and can’t be pushed aside. When something hurts or breaks down, the impact on daily activities can be significant. More than 90% of older adults eventually experience a life-changing health condition according to the National Institute on Aging.

Loss of independence. Your older adult’s version of independence might mean living and managing completely on their own. Or perhaps it means continuing to do things for themselves, like going about regular activities, with the support of a spouse or family. When they begin to experience difficulties, certain things they’ve always taken for granted might no longer be possible. When seniors realize they need more support from others it can feel like a loss of control.

Financial security. While on average those over the age of 65 are financially secure, in fact, most seniors do face some financial risk as they age due to health issues, changes in living conditions, and loss. Those of moderate or low income – not among the wealthiest retirees – often fall below average and are the most vulnerable.

Death of a loved one. The passing of someone important brings on a host of feelings, like shock and sadness. There’s grief over the loss of a relationship. Thoughts about one’s own mortality are inevitable and uncomfortable. If your loved one experiences the death of a spouse, they may experience abandonment and the fear of uncertainty.

Loneliness. As relationships fall away and failing health interferes with activities your senior once enjoyed, they might experience isolation. Loneliness becomes more of a worry when social options grow limited.

Can worry be useful?

Worry is a way of creating stories about the future – imagining things that might happen. When worry gets out of hand, those stories can turn into worst-case scenarios.

Before discussing ways caregivers can help their older loved ones cope with worries, it’s useful to consider how some worries can be productive.

Everyone worries needlessly on occasion. For example, what if your dinner guests don’t like the food you prepared? What if your spouse gets into an accident? These worries are real, but they’re a waste of time because the situation you’re worried about is out of your control.

Many worries can be productive because it’s possible to address them and either prevent or lessen the likelihood that the undesirable thing might happen. For example, here in the Pacific Northwest you might worry about a destructive earthquake. While you can’t prevent an earthquake from happening, you can take specific steps to prepare for one and improve your chances of surviving with less damage or injury.

It’s also important to understand that just because some worries have solutions doesn’t mean that worrying always leads to good problem-solving.

4 suggestions for managing senior worries

Caregivers can’t erase the things seniors worry about, but they can help by being aware of their loved ones’ worries, encouraging discussion about them, and offering alternative ways to occupy their thoughts.

Help your loved one differentiate between things that can be solved and those that can’t. If there’s a straightforward solution, even if it’s temporary, this helps alleviate anxiety. A flare-up of a health condition, for example, should lead to a visit with your senior’s doctor. Concern about the potential loss of independence might be minimized by helping them research home care options, such as those offered by SeaCare.

Ask for details about worrisome situations. If your older adult mentions a concern in passing or seems hesitant to provide details, do some probing and learn more. Talking about worries is critical to addressing solutions. It may be an opportunity to help them accept that some things are inevitable, such as the sadness following the loss of a loved one. You may also learn enough detail to offer useful resources. If running out of money is a worry, find out if simple budgeting can help or if there’s local financial assistance available for them.

Gently challenge your older adult’s worries, but don’t deny them. It’s important to acknowledge your senior’s worry, but you may find evidence that the level of concern is extreme. You can help them to understand alternatives for addressing their worries. 

Locating resources to help combat loneliness, for example, can remind your senior that they aren’t alone. This could be a network of friends or family members willing to reach out with phone calls or visits. It could be a community senior group. Find other ideas on combating loneliness in this SeaCare blog.

Explore ways to interrupt anxious thoughts. Try demonstrating methods your senior can use to disrupt the worry cycle that can spiral into an endless loop.

• Encourage them to exercise. Even simple movements, like stretching, chair exercises, or getting outside for a walk can help.
• Show them a deep breathing method. This has a relaxing effect that also helps clear the mind of negative thoughts.
• Suggest journaling. Writing can help them process and clarify their worries and also provide a release for the tension that anxiety causes. If you ask them to jot things down that they’re grateful for – a sunny day, a chat with a grandchild, or a walk around the neighborhood – the focus turns positive.

Family caregivers are in an ideal position to help the older adults they love to face the challenges of aging. And the staff at SeaCare is prepared to provide caregivers the support they need to help seniors live their best life. Contact us to learn how we can help.

Katie Wright writes about aging and senior wellness from Bellingham, WA. You can read more about her here.