2022 is right around the corner. Have you thought about your New Year’s resolutions?
If you have an annual habit of planning to start fresh as the clock strikes 12:01 am on January 1st, this might be a good year to take a step back and consider some alternatives.
Especially if you’re a caregiver.
The pandemic has caused rough going over the last couple of years for most people. As a caregiver, you’ve endured the additional weight of caring for a particularly vulnerable individual. You haven’t experienced life as usual for a long time.
If New Year’s resolutions feel like punishment, consider a different method of sending out the old and ringing in the new.
This is a good opportunity to work on self-compassion and to grant yourself the patience and understanding you deserve. This doesn’t mean you have to abandon your personal goals. What you can do is re-frame them in a way that emphasizes self-care over doing penance.
Let’s take a look at how caregivers can welcome the New Year in positive and realistic ways.
Worry is part of the territory in a caregiver’s role. While there’s no magic wand to erase it, there are ways to minimize worry’s negative influence on your health.
For example, there are aspects of caregiving that are out of your control:
Focus on what you can do and remember that what you’re able to do for your loved one is very valuable. With a little research and preparation, you’ll feel a better sense of control and less worry.
Caregiving is an act of love, but there are days when every caregiver experiences fear, resentment, anger, and more. Rather than being reluctant to acknowledge hard feelings or scolding yourself for them, try these steps:
Take a deep breath and step away for a minute. A few deep, full breaths can have an immediate calming sensation.
Identify how you’re feeling and what triggered it. Give your feelings a label. If you’re not sure, describe for yourself how your body is feeling — do you have a lump in your throat? Are you flushed? Are you clenching your jaw? Have you raised your voice? Do you have tears in your eyes?
Forgive yourself for not being perfect. Tell yourself this feeling is normal and that it’s your brain’s and body’s way of signaling it’s time to cope.
Employ a coping mechanism:
When caregiving is your full-time responsibility, it seems unending. Your focus is on someone else’s day-to-day needs, and the idea of making resolutions might sound impossible.
Especially if those resolutions involve feeling better yourself.
But please, as the New Year approaches, go ahead and make a resolution or two. Instead of emphasizing the goal itself, think about your purpose for it. And give yourself the latitude of compassion.
Here are some ways to re-frame your New Year’s goals and make them meaningful for now and for your long-term well-being.
Instead of resolving to get in shape, resolve to keep moving. Why? Caregiving is exhausting and you might feel like you just want to sit and rest. Even simple movements can increase your energy. Try some simple dance steps, a few trips up and down the stairs, 5 wall push-ups, or a quick walk around the block if you can manage it. Taking a little time several times a day will keep your blood flowing and improve your mood.
Instead of resolving to lose weight, resolve to eat healthy foods. Why? When you’re caregiving, a hectic schedule can mean relying on convenience foods and snacking. If you find you’re putting on weight, remember that the scale offers only a single measure of your health, and not necessarily the best one. Choosing uncomplicated ways to eat that promote well-being might not result in the weight loss you desire but will impact how you feel. For example:
Instead of a new list of to-do’s, make a don’t-do list. Why? As a caregiver you’re focused on your loved one’s quality of life, often while ignoring your own. You have too much to do. It’s time to eliminate some of the things that threaten your personal well-being. Consider these don’t-do activities:
At SeaCare, we resolve to provide the quality care your loved one needs — for the New Year and all year long. Contact us to learn more.
Katie Wright writes about aging and senior wellness from Bellingham, WA. You can read more about her here.